Desi American Muslim women have a terrible reputation for not knowing how to do anything domestic because we were raised in a culture where most women aren’t wives; they are girlfriends and one-night stands. I am also a South Asian American Muslim and had difficulty when I married an Indian (Muslim) man raised in my parent’s country. I felt very sad. I learned how to cook, but had problems adjusting to desi society where family ties and domestic work are super important. Even though I live in the U. S. without a joint family, I still needed to learn how to handle family relationships and domestic work. Keep learning and growing; I like your channel.
EDIT:
I don’t mean to sound harsh to anyone. I also don’t want to rob Western/Christian women of dignity because I know there are plenty of Christian conservative women, also ones with a mentality like “RealFemSapien” (YouTuber) who know the importance of serving one’s husband and family. Not saying every woman should always be a housewife, just for clarification. It’s just that American Muslim women learn too late in life that women age faster than men, cooking, ” “The young should take care of the old. “, etc. On a trip to India, I saw how beautiful society is when you get along with your in-laws and see those 70-90 year old Muslims who still pray 5X a day.
According to the sunnah, a wife has to do her best and serve halal food. Thats it. Don’t mix culture and create new standards above what Allah asks from us both men and women. And Allah knows best. May He guide us and forgive us all for what we are aware and unaware of, ameen.
Your mom is very sweet, may God prolong her life in good health.
It’s ok Tazzy, we’ve all been there lol.
With a lovely mentor like Ammi Jan, you’ll get the hang of it very soon and become a pro.
My mother-in-law lives in Egypt I called her during suhoor EST while she was fasting for a recipe for iftar,then spent the whole day cooking and it wasn’t as good as hers. Alhamdulilah for kind family members who are have such sabr.
I bet u regret not listening to mom’s advice about letting her teach u how 2cook 😂😂😂 however look at the bright side ur modern & u guys can compromise and eat out or order out ..u shouldn’t have to cook every day. Don’t get taken for granted bc of cultural norms.
Use chicken breast, Shah easy mix (this one daal is already grounded) instead of shahi special mix, it will all make the process quicker. As it cooks, mix slowly, if you a whisk, it helps shred it. As its heats the meat soften, it will shred on its own. I used to not food processor so done it this way. It turned out my in laws love alittle chunks inside. Add chicken stock cube, alittle of own spices, half teaspoon of cumin, garam masala, kali mirch.
If does not thicken, then try oats (as a good substitute for Gandom barley) or any atta flour mixed with water then add to the pot….do not worry if not white flour.
Tarka with onions…add alittle salt to taste
I started out like you, eventually with time you will have your mothers hands…inshallah
If you have a problem, do not worry to ask help from in laws, they will love you for it, they like feeling needed. Sometimes we need to be humble infront of the experienced and elderly.
Mom be cooking virtually like one of those doctors using robots to do surgery on patients in another state. I’m sure she still loves helping her daugher <3
your mom is sweet
Thats called practicing. Its not gonna be same always. You will learn soon
Exactly Alhamdullilah 😊 nothing wrong with trying and learning as long as we do our best!
This is why extended family used to live together: for a training period 😔
Desi American Muslim women have a terrible reputation for not knowing how to do anything domestic because we were raised in a culture where most women aren’t wives; they are girlfriends and one-night stands. I am also a South Asian American Muslim and had difficulty when I married an Indian (Muslim) man raised in my parent’s country. I felt very sad. I learned how to cook, but had problems adjusting to desi society where family ties and domestic work are super important. Even though I live in the U. S. without a joint family, I still needed to learn how to handle family relationships and domestic work. Keep learning and growing; I like your channel.
EDIT:
I don’t mean to sound harsh to anyone. I also don’t want to rob Western/Christian women of dignity because I know there are plenty of Christian conservative women, also ones with a mentality like “RealFemSapien” (YouTuber) who know the importance of serving one’s husband and family. Not saying every woman should always be a housewife, just for clarification. It’s just that American Muslim women learn too late in life that women age faster than men, cooking, ” “The young should take care of the old. “, etc. On a trip to India, I saw how beautiful society is when you get along with your in-laws and see those 70-90 year old Muslims who still pray 5X a day.
are you a better wife now?
@Fatimá would you have prefered to be a man instead? If so- then why?
I don’t understand why your husband tolerates your lack of wife skills
According to the sunnah, a wife has to do her best and serve halal food. Thats it. Don’t mix culture and create new standards above what Allah asks from us both men and women. And Allah knows best. May He guide us and forgive us all for what we are aware and unaware of, ameen.
@Madelyn I never even invoked Islam, you read into something that was not even written
Maybe he’s understanding and patient.
@Sarah F.S. good answer
Wife skills??? What the hell is that, I assume there’s husband skills???!!!
Its okay Tazzy!!..Your Mama is there to save the day.😍
Your mom is the sweetest ever! “Show me” ahhh omg so supportive 💜
Very, very lucky to have that kind of support. May Allah bless your mother for the role she’s playing. Ameen
AMEEN
Ameen.
Your mom is very sweet, may God prolong her life in good health.
It’s ok Tazzy, we’ve all been there lol.
With a lovely mentor like Ammi Jan, you’ll get the hang of it very soon and become a pro.
My mum passed one month after i got married…it was hard to say the least. still is, six years later.
May she rest in peace 🤍
This was me today ughhh
My mother-in-law lives in Egypt I called her during suhoor EST while she was fasting for a recipe for iftar,then spent the whole day cooking and it wasn’t as good as hers. Alhamdulilah for kind family members who are have such sabr.
Things you don’t know you’re missing out on by not having a Ma.
You have a very supportive mom ❤
I bet u regret not listening to mom’s advice about letting her teach u how 2cook 😂😂😂 however look at the bright side ur modern & u guys can compromise and eat out or order out ..u shouldn’t have to cook every day. Don’t get taken for granted bc of cultural norms.
Use chicken breast, Shah easy mix (this one daal is already grounded) instead of shahi special mix, it will all make the process quicker. As it cooks, mix slowly, if you a whisk, it helps shred it. As its heats the meat soften, it will shred on its own. I used to not food processor so done it this way. It turned out my in laws love alittle chunks inside. Add chicken stock cube, alittle of own spices, half teaspoon of cumin, garam masala, kali mirch.
If does not thicken, then try oats (as a good substitute for Gandom barley) or any atta flour mixed with water then add to the pot….do not worry if not white flour.
Tarka with onions…add alittle salt to taste
I started out like you, eventually with time you will have your mothers hands…inshallah
If you have a problem, do not worry to ask help from in laws, they will love you for it, they like feeling needed. Sometimes we need to be humble infront of the experienced and elderly.
Mom be cooking virtually like one of those doctors using robots to do surgery on patients in another state. I’m sure she still loves helping her daugher <3
I don’t think the title of your article matches the content lol. Just kidding, mainly because I had some doubts after reading the article.